Two Rivers

Once, when speaking at a Women’s Conference, I began by sharing that I had “cried a River of Tears”.

I knew that there were  women present who could relate, because they too had experienced the pain and disappointments that lead to crying lots of tears. I knew, because I had been there…

Sometimes people, in an effort to be comforting,  may say,” I know how you feel”… but it’s much more of a comfort when you know that someone has actually experienced circumstances similar to your own. As women, we feel things so deeply, and “crying a river of tears” was the best way that I could describe the heartfelt sadness that accompanied me through this difficult time in my life. I knew that I was not the only one to feel this way.

Many mornings,when I was having problems with my health, and praying for a miracle, my husband would wake to hear me quietly weeping, with my head sunk in my pillow. He would try to comfort me, but after a while, I think he just wanted me to let go of what he considered to be an “obsession” with wanting to have a baby.

But I was not obsessed, and I would not let go.

In spite of all my tears, I knew in my heart, that there was another river…

Psalm 46 says that, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble… There is a river, the streams whereof shall make . glad the city of God,…God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early..

Be still and know that I am God…”

Sometimes we need to have a good cry, and that’s OK,… but we mustn’t cry as if there’s no hope… There is true comfort in knowing that God sees our tears, and will answer our prayers. I know because He’s done it for me.

The Faith Factor

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

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…”Daughter, your faith has made you whole….” Luke 8:48

These are the words that the LORD spoke into my heart, on this day, November 11, 1985. Like the woman mentioned here in this story, I had seen many doctors and suffered many things. I was in need of a touch from Jesus to heal me and make me whole. I needed a miracle.

At sunrise, on that beautiful fall morning , the Lord heard my quiet cry, and  took me from barrenness to motherhood. Little did I know that this was only the beginning. Miraculously, He blessed me to give birth to three children, when the doctors, and the condition of my body, said that I’d never have one.

Forever grateful…

Blessed be His Name!

“He settles the barren woman in her home as a joyful mother of children”

Psalm 113:9 – TLV

 

From the Beginning

“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knows right well.

My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God!

How great is the sum of them!”

Psalm 139:13-17

The Microwave Treatment

Sometimes it’s hard to wait when you’re praying for something special to happen, and I know what that feels like…

Once, while I was waiting for my miracle, I had a dream. It had been about 6 months since I had 18 tumors removed, and I was growing more and more impatient about having a baby. I thought that once the tumors were removed, I’d get pregnant right away. But that’s not what happened… One night, I had a very interesting dream…

It was actually two dreams at once. During the first dream, my husband and I were visiting some friends for dinner and as the men talked in the living room, I sat in the kitchen while the food was being prepared. I was shocked to see that my friend was spooning raw, runny, red, hamburger meat, into taco shells and placing them in the microwave to be cooked. “YUCK!” I thought to myself, and when she had finished cooking, she topped them with all the trimmings, but I just couldn’t bring myself to eat any, because I saw the way that they were prepared with raw meat, and this really grossed me out!

In the second part of my dream, I was in a meat shop, and I was trying to buy a beef roast which was turning slowly on a spit. I was in a hurry, and I told the man cooking the meat that I had been waiting a long time, and was ready to go. He looked at me and said “I’m sorry ma’am but it’s not ready yet. I said  “Are you sure? It looks like it’s done.” then he pulled out a long sharp-pointed thing, and pierced through the meat, and all of this red, runny, gook came pouring out. He was right. The meat was not ready… It was as if both parts of the dream had the same meaning.

When I woke up, I thought that maybe this dream had something to do with my healing from surgery, and  how  I was not yet healed up enough on the inside…

A few days later, I was sitting in the park, watching  my son and daughter at soccer practice, when I saw a friend from church. She asked me how I was recovering from the surgery.  I told her that I was doing fine, but that I was really ready to have another baby, “After all”, I said “I’m 35 years old!”…She was nearly 50, and told me that I was still young enough to have another baby.  “God’s timing is perfect… Just be patient!..I had my last baby when I was 40 years old. ” she said. I smiled, shrugged my shoulders, and said, “But I’ve been waiting so long already.”  Then she said, ” Faith, you just had surgery… You need time to heal.”  She laughed and said jokingly, .. “What you want is the Microwave Treatment!!“…

When she said this, I knew that it was a confirmation of the dream that I’d had a few days earlier… “The Microwave Treatment”… It was true! I didn’t want to wait any longer.. I wanted my miracle,and I wanted it now! This instant… In fact, I wanted it yesterday!!

I was reminded by this incident, that God is in control, and I accepted that He knows best. I would just have to be patient and wait…

Three years later, I realized my miracle, and was expecting our little girl.

Patience!